


Home Remedies

by Trash_PandaTO



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: EFA Fic Challenge 2019, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 21:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17857520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_PandaTO/pseuds/Trash_PandaTO
Summary: Toothpaste is not just good for brushing teeth





	Home Remedies

**Author's Note:**

> I have to extend many MANY thanks to Orange17 and LuckyWantsToKnow for their support and beta-ing this silliness!

Waverly could hear the roar of the bike long before she saw it barrelling down the long driveway to the Homestead. Gravel was flying, the bike was going way too fast. Waverly cringed as the bike skidded to a stop just inches in front of the porch. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around Alice, who had stepped out of the door at the approaching noise.

“Mama!”

Waverly held on to the girl as both of them watched the leather-clad figure step off the bike and rip both helmet and goggles off in a hurry before tossing both on the ground. 

Wynonna was in a mood. She huffed at the sound of the helmet hitting the ground and furiously rubbed at her face.

“FUU…”

“Fudgenuggets!” Waverly interrupted, nodding toward Alice.

“What?” Wynonna looked up, eyes red. “Oh, right. Whatever. Fudge everything!” She stormed past Waverly and Alice into the house, bumping into the doorframe in the process.

Waverly looked down at Alice, who was sporting her signature frown. She shrugged. “Should we go find out what your mama is mad about this time?”

Alice responded with a sound that was halfway between a whine and a snort. It made Waverly giggle briefly before she turned and guided both of them into the house to check on her sister. Once inside, she heard the water running in the kitchen. Following the sound, she soon spotted her sister leaned over the kitchen sink, splashing water in her face and eyes.

“Wynonna? What’s going on?”

Her sister just growled. Waverly pulled up a chair and helped her niece sit down at the table. Then, she carefully stepped closer to the sink. She could see that the skin around Wynonna’s eyes looked irritated, the eyes themselves were red.

“Did you get something in your eyes? Here, I can help you wash them out.”

Abruptly, Wynonna straightened her upper body, startling her sister. She grabbed a towel that was hanging by the stove and started drying her face. Waverly stood back. She knew her sister well and was bracing herself for the inevitable outburst.

“Did I get something in my eye? Gee, it sure looks like that, doesn’t it?” Wynonna huffed. “Here I was, chasing down a lead about those mysterious horse deaths, and everything was fine until it started raining.” 

Wynonna waved her hands around, towel in hand. Waverly took another step back, half shielding Alice with her body. She fully expected her sister to accidentally knock items off their shelves with the towel and was prepared to protect her niece from flying spice jars.

“And you know, rain. I mean, whatever. I’m the heir. I’ve survived revenants and vampires and Bulshar and witches. What’s a little rain compared to that, right?”

Wynonna paused, clearly expecting a response.

“Right.” Waverly had no idea where this was going.

“Right! So anyway, I am still riding along and it’s raining, and then all of a sudden, my freaking goggles start foaming! I kid you not, actual foam! And it got into my eyes and let me tell you, that sh…”

“That stuff…” Waverly interrupted again.

“...right, that stuff...stings like a mother...I mean, like a...whatever. It stings! So I turned around and I could barely see anything the whole way.”

Waverly gasped. The idea of her sister riding her motorcycle at high speed while her sight was severely compromised made her stomach churn. Wynonna continued her rant and Waverly was slowly piecing together the details. Her sister had to abandon her lead, rode home along the side roads so she could follow the long dark fence while she could barely see anything else. And here she was, washing out her eyes in the kitchen sink.

“I swear, Waverly. This foam stuff, I’m not sure where it came from, but I will find the culprit. I should get Jeremy to analyze it, maybe it’s demonic or toxic, or both! What if I go blind?!”

At that, Alice shrieked. Waverly turned and quickly put her arms on her niece’s shoulders.

“It’s okay, Alice. Your mama is fine. I’ll help her wash out her eyes and we’ll make sure everything is fine. Don’t worry, okay?”

Alice nodded but didn’t look entirely convinced.

Then, Waverly turned to Wynonna, eyebrows raised. “Right, Wynonna? Everything will be okay.”

Wynonna, clearly still upset, grumbled a little before turning to face her daughter. She was squinting, her eyes still irritated. “Yeah, little bean. Don’t worry, okay? I’m fine. Totally half-blind but fine.”

Waverly grabbed her sister by the elbow and angled her face toward the light coming in through the kitchen window.

“You’re not half-blind! Here, let me see.”

She tilted her sister’s head upwards despite her protests and fidgeting, and inspected her eyes. Sure, they looked a bit red, but they appeared clean, with no residue visible anywhere. Nevertheless, she pulled a few pieces of paper towel off the roll, wetted it a little and carefully dabbed around her sister’s eyes. As she cleaned Wynonna’s face, she noticed a faint smell of mint. Waverly grimaced, realization dawning on her.

“You’re fine. It’s all washed away. Toothpaste just stings a little, that’s all.”

Wynonna stilled her fidgeting.

“Toothpaste? What do you mean, toothpaste?!”

Waverly froze. “Um…” She began to play with the wet piece of paper towel in her hands, trying to buy herself time when Alice came to her assistance with a loud giggle.

“Mama! Toothpaste is for brushing teeth! Not for washing your face.”

Wynonna huffed and turned her body so she was facing her daughter who was still laughing. With a few quick steps she walked over to the kitchen table, grabbed Alice and began tickling her, which resulted in shrieks and more giggles.

“Oh well, Miss Smarty Pants, I actually know that. But maybe your Auntie Waverly can explain to us how I ended up with toothpaste in my goggles?”

With Alice in her arms, propped up against her hip, they both turned toward Waverly and waited. 

“Well. You know. You remember how you always complain that your goggles fog up when you ride? Well, I for one don’t think that is very safe. And I already think the way you ride isn’t the safest, so I just wanted to help. And, I was reading about it, actually. Wiping goggles with toothpaste is supposed to help and make sure they don’t fog up. I just...must have not rinsed them enough.”

Waverly looked down at her feet. All she had wanted to do was keep her sister safe. And now she had made it worse. She kept visualizing how Wynonna had ridden back with minty foam in her eyes, barely able to see anything. It sent a shiver up and down her spine. 

Without looking up, she mumbled “Wy, I am sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just wanted to help.”

A few seconds later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and stared right into the still slightly red eyes of her sister.

“It’s okay, babygirl. I know. But maybe stop using old wives tales for things?”

Waverly scrunched her forehead. “You mean home remedies?”

“Yeah. Those. Remember that time you cut up an onion and smeared it all over the windshield of your Jeep?”

Waverly huffed, thinking back about how she couldn’t get the smell of raw onion out of her Jeep for weeks.

“Exactly!” Wynonna continued. “Or that time you rubbed toast all over the wall?”

“That was rye bread. Not toast. And it worked! I cleaned up all the pencil marks your little Frida Kahlo here left on the walls!”

“Whatever. There were crumbs everywhere for days. And we probably have ants now. All I want to say is...maybe stop using those all natural, hippie dippie things? They seem to cause more trouble than they’re worth.”

Waverly’s shoulders slumped. “I was just trying to help.”

And then she felt not one but two sets of lips on her face, one slightly smaller but decidedly stickier than the other.

“I know, babygirl. And I appreciate it. Just...maybe stay away from my stuff with those remedies. I can live with fogged up goggles. I usually spit in them and that helps for a while.”

“Eww! Mama! You’re gross!”

Wynonna turned toward Alice with an exaggerated gasp. “Oh yeah? And what about that sticky face of yours? And the chocolate on your elbow? Or that time you farted so loud that Auntie Nicole fell off the couch? Who’s gross now?”

Waverly watched as Wynonna carried Alice into the living room and both of them dropped on the couch while giggling loudly. Waverly cringed. The chocolate on Alice’s arm would surely leave stains on the couch. 

“I wonder if baking soda and vinegar would work for that…”


End file.
